Sorry for the rude awakening
by Arken47
Summary: This reality check AU might just blow your freaking minds. Includes some RandyxNate. Sort of depressing. Angst.


**AN: !PLEASE READ!**

 **Has anyone ever wondered why all of the comics happen over different years? For example, in almost every comic book, there's a different prank day, a different picture day, someone different going on vacation, etc. It's like a replay of every event, in each comic book. But Big Nate supposedly all takes place during sixth grade. And that really isn't possible, when you think about it. So what if Nate isn't in sixth grade? What if it's all a delusion, and he's living sixth grade over and over in his mind? So basically, A lot of stuff never happened. Dedicated to Starmachine, who inspired this with a conversation I had with them. I probably won't update consistently.**

* * *

This was crazy.

It was crazier than smelling teachers with your eyes closed. It was crazier than being beaten by Mrs. Godfrey at Basketball. It was crazier than trying to play table football with Chester. It was crazier than doing the craziest sudokus, crazier than giving out soy nuts on Halloween, crazier than making his dad loose weight, crazier than ordering Mrs. Godfrey a date with a clown, crazier than wink Summers' awful forecasting, crazier than…

Nate stops himself. _Oh wait._ _That didn't happen…_ It hits him like a bus. He blinks. _This is so weird… Okay. So I've been living about five years of sixth grade in the period of three months… How is that even possible?_ It felt like one of those cliché book endings where the protagonist "wakes up, and it's all a dream", Nate thinks, while making a face. Right. No, this couldn't be like that! It was all real, wasn't it? No… Nonononononono!

He stares up at the white ceiling. Everything's white. _Wait, what if I'm dead? That would be something, wouldn't it?_ Nate sits up. There's white, empty walls, surrounding his white, ridiculously clean bed. There's white tiled flooring. Even the door is white. It's just plain creepy.

Nate racks his brain, trying to remember. He remembers his dad coming in… Was it an hour ago? It had been hard to stay awake… He hadn't bothered to check the time then. The things his dad had said though… It couldn't be true, could it?

 _I've been in a coma for three months. I'm one month behind in my first year in high school. High school… Woah. That's a lot to take in… Wait, that means I missed summer!_ He sighs heavily. This was a lot to take in. It made his head hurt.

* * *

There's a knock at the door. Nate turns, and sees a plump man with curly dark hair and glasses walk in. He's also got a band-aid on his forehead, which is sort of strange. Something immediately clicks in Nate's mind then. He sits up. "Hey! It's you!"

The man freezes. "…Yes… Hello, Nate."

"You're the school picture guy!" Nate shouts, relief washing over him. It was all real! Here was the proof! Right here, was whatshisname, the school picture guy. He knew this dude. Everything was cool. Nate grins.

School picture guy's not grinning, however. For that matter, he looks unusually serious. "Listen, Nate… You may have experienced… Some… dreams, if you will… throughout your period of unconsciousness. You see, I do not take pictures for your school, neither have I ever even _been_ to your school, for that matter. …I'm your doctor."

Nate is stunned into silence. _What?! Wait, whaaaaat?_ Before school picture guy can stop him, he's up and out of bed, racing for the door. _I need to get out of here…_

"Nate, STOP!"

Nate hesitates. He's never heard school picture guy sound so scary before. Then, his mind puts it aside. _Hey, maybe all this is a dream, what if that's it, huh? Well, great, then I can do anything!_ He's about to open the door, when the door suddenly opens into him, pushing him back. Nate stumbles and starts to fall, but someone catches him by the wrist. "…Nate?"

Nate immediately tenses, and pulls himself up, yanking his hand back. He knows that voice too… It's _Randy._ Stupid Randy. "Why are _you_ here, _jerk?!_ " He yells angrily. _Of all the people to show up— Oh he has nerve all right..._ Then he stops, taking a good look at the other guy. Randy looks… Older? _Yeah, taller, too._ _He could pass for an eighth grader… Wait, no, he's probably in high school too!_ _Just like me… I'm in highschool… Right._

But more than that… Nate studies Randy's face. He looked… Hurt? What, _concerned? What the freak is going on here?!_ "Q-quit the act," he mutters uncertainly, shoving Randy into the door. _What's going on?_ Randy didn't even protest. He just stared at Nate. "Are you alright, Nate?" He asks hesitantly. "You… You remember me… Right?"

From behind them, school picture guy clears his throat. "Randy, he might… be confused…"

"SHUT UP, I'M NOT CONFUSED!" Nate screams. He can't take this. What's going on?! Where's Teddy and Francis? Why is Randy here? He feels tears threaten to come to his eyes, and blinks furiously.

"Nate, listen to me!" Randy says, grabbing his shoulder lightly. Nate angrily shakes him off. "Don't _touch_ me!" But Randy's expression… Nate stops, and lowers his head to stare that the floor, fists clenching angrily. It wasn't fair. None of it was. "I don't understand…" he mutters softly, willing himself not to cry.

"Nate, I'm your friend…" Randy says quietly. "I'm… I'm your… Boyfriend."

Nate can't take this anymore. He's hardly hearing any of it, and the whole time, he just feels like he's being toyed with; like this is some sort of sick joke. "Cut the crap," he manages to choke out, before pushing past a worried Randy and a bemused school picture guy who _isn't_ school picture guy, and… and none of this makes sense, does it? Nate flees down the white hallway outside of his room.

He doesn't know where he's going.

He doesn't care.


End file.
